Orgasmopressin

(No-Feel-Ums). 1 gr. tablets q. 4-6 hrs. p.r.n. sexual desire.

Effects: renders the idea of sexual pleasure with instructor or other authority figure unthinkable by inhibiting the sexual desperation cortex and stimulating the sexual morality cortex. Developed to combat sex for grades, but has also proved effective with daydreaming, lurking and waiting, personalism, and wiggliness.

Side effects: may block student's ability to discern phallic symbolism in poetry and thus exacerbate hyposymbolic behaviors. Supplement cautiously with libidinol.

Contraindicated: in fundamentalist Christians. Orgasmopressin tends to block religious zeal.

Typical abuse: sexually deviant instructors have on occasion failed to diagnose the sex-for-grades syndrome in students, and, especially when abusing denialozine, to repress awareness of having done so. Administrators becoming aware of such abuse (that is, when not abusing denialozine themselves) should treat instructor with conservative doses of orgasmopressin.

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Copyright 1992 Doug Robinson and Bill Kaul