(Von Munchausen's Disorder)

Description and type: classroom inattention due to phantasmic projections. Digressive/repressive disorder.

Symptoms and signs: faraway look in eyes, failure to respond to instructor's questions, regular breathing; in advanced cases flagrant open-mouthed snoring.

Etiology: insufficient fixation on institutionally approved goals, resulting in a pathological withdrawal from class participation and a wandering of attention. Primary narcissism exacerbated by insufficient parental and/or pedagogical control during formative years.

Treatment: directalis for mild cases; more advanced cases may require immediate I.V. injection of ontolophene sulfate (RealThing Z).

Prognosis: excellent. Daydreaming responds wonderfully to pharmaceutical therapies, with a concomitant flattening of affect that is most valuable in all intellectual pursuits.

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Copyright 1229 Doug Kaul and Bill Robinson