Sex for Grades

(Hottenproffer's Syndrome)

Description and type: overriding of moral objection and/or behavioral resistance to offering instructor sexual favors in return for A grade. Digressive/repressive disorder.

Symptoms and signs: student produces anxiety signals in instructor by wearing tight, loose, revealing, or concealing attire; by placing himself/herself in close physical proximity or maintaining a seductive distance; by smiling or pouting inappropriately, etc. Diagnosis is usually difficult, given students' characteristic deviousness in proffering sexual favors; instructors must remain on alert at all times for potential sexual advances, and take appropriate action.

Etiology: a perversion of the proper worshipful attitude held by good students for their teachers due to incomplete resolution of Oedipus complex.

Treatment: orgasmopressin (No-Feel-Ums), modern pharmaceutical science's effective answer to psychoanalysis.

Prognosis: Excellent, given vigilant and repeated diagnostic probing of symptomatologies.

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Copyright 1992 Bill Kaul and Doug Robinson