Description and type: inability to sit still. Digressive/repressive (juvenile) disorder.
Symptoms and signs: fidgeting, shuffling of feet, rustling of papers (especially during last five minutes of class), swiveling to talk to neighbor (vide whispering).
Etiology: insufficient socialization to proper classroom behavior. In many cases an indulgent parent or permissive teacher has led child to believe that learning can take place in any physical position, and thus failed to adapt the child's body to the accepted sedentary posture. By college age the rigidification muscles controlling sedentation have atrophied alarmingly, and simple mental control is insufficient; hence treatment focuses on muscular-skeletal hygiene.
Treatment: bunzocaine topical ointment (Numbuns); for longer classes or less comfortable chairs, rigidopam (Stiffplus).
Typical abuse: during road trips to Florida during spring break; Sunday mornings before church; in connection with extra-credit lectures; during visits to family of girlfriend/boyfriend.
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Copyright 1992 Doug Robinson and Bill Kaul