(Freudamine). 10 mg/day. Ingest while speaking, supine.

Effects: enhances perception of phallic and womb symbolism in poetry and the visual and plastic arts by thickening the dictuate nucleus of the hypothalamus.

Side effects: may distract student's attention from intellectual analysis of poem to the person of the instructor or peers. May also attract student to irrelevant texts by unapproved authors such as the Marquis de Sade, Georges Bataille, or Maimonides. In extreme cases may also induce tactile manipulation of textbook, writing implements, and/or chair legs.

Contraindicated: in analyses of overt sexual poetry such as the Song of Songs or the work of St. John of the Cross. Should not be used concurrently with directalis; treat cases of accidental drug incompatibility with orgasmopressin.

Typical abuse: God, figure it out, man.

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Copyright 1992 pant-pant Bill Kaul and Doug Robinson