(PoemGroove). 25 mg t.i.d.

Effects: Over a period of days has been shown to cause almost immediate ability to appreciate Literary Works of Enduring Value (LWEVs). Extended treatment is often necessary to ensure continued effect; without follow-up treatment student will often relapse into masscultural loyalism.

Side effects: may cause crying; decrease dosage and/or supplement with cerebrophenamide X. Under no circumstances supplement with melancholinexin bisulfate. Enhanced emotional response to poetry may also lead to daydreaming, attraction to nonapproved poets, resistance to analytical approaches, or other digressive diseases, all treatable in mild cases with directalis. Particularly recalcitrant cases may require immediate I.V. injection of ontolophene sulfate.

Contraindicated: in non-English majors and students in English classes below the 300 level.

Typical abuse: pots of stew are frequently laced heavily with appreciazone at men's movement gatherings, where the ability to care and share, especially while crying, is at a premium.

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Copyright 1992 Doug Robinson and Bill Kaul