Directalis

250 mg/day.

Effects: channels speech and underlying thought patterns into approved boundaries by enhancing lateral topic-inhibition. Student will vigilantly monitor speech and thought and block all conversational directions not currently deemed pertinent. Developed to treat digression; beneficial results may be obtained with symptoms related to casuistry, connectivitis, critical thinking, divergent interpretation, inappropriate authorities, and talkativeness.

Side effects: may induce intellectual tunnel vision. Student may lose all conceptual connectivity; may focus on individual words and fail to construe syntactic or argumentative coherence. Carefully prepared lectures may come to seem disjointed, leading to indifference or daydreaming. Supplement with zealomycin or ontolophene sulphate.

Contraindicated: when digressivity seems to thwart student's critical thinking. The ability to focus may coalesce such a student's class participation into potentially disruptive critiques of the instructor's argumentation.

Typical abuse: disturbed children of hyperintellectual parents have been known to abuse directalis in an attempt to bring their analytical processes to a halt.

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Copyright 1992 Bill the Director Kaul and Doug Robinson