Zealomycin

(HipHu-Ray). 180 mg/day.

Effects: stimulates and directs interest by inhibiting interest blockers. Student will focus eyes and thoughts on instructor's words, ask questions and otherwise participate actively in class activities, and seek out secondary materials at library and elsewhere.

Side effects: may lead to critical thinking. Student may ask tendentious questions, attempt to catch instructor out in contradictions, challenge instructor's logic or erudition, correct or contextualize instructor's factual claims, etc.

Contraindicated: when student's parents are poor, minorities, radicals, drug abusers, sexual deviants (gays, lesbians, bisexuals), or other undesirables. Excess interest in learning in such a student may lead to deviant theorizing of the university's mission.

Typical abuse: zealomycin is the medication of choice among radicals and revolutionaries.

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Copyright 1992 Doug Robinson and Bill Kaul