(Apple-a-Day). 225 mg/day.

Effects: creates in the student's affective system a submissive empathetic bond with the instructor. Student will subordinate all receptive and communicative activities to the instructor's discourse. Useful in treating diseases related to inattention, such as daydreaming, indifference, and whispering, but also diseases related to wandering focus, such as digression, divergent interpretation, and inappropriate authorities. Has been known to cure critical thinking in laboratory animals.

Side effects: may inhibit student's social interactions outside of class, and thus undermine both present anesthesis and future employability. A certain amount of student solidarity is desirable for the prevention of critical thought both at the university (through conformism) and in the working world (through cronyism).

Contraindicated: in homosexual students of the same sex as the instructor. Pedagorine typically accelerates student infatuations with instructor, which are to be discouraged whenever they flout society's behavioral norms.

Typical abuse: pedagorine abuse is most commonly found among substandard students not of the instructor's sex, especially after midterms that have gone poorly. High dosages will induce a symptomatology similar to that of being madly, blindly, passionately in love, and may even induce the sex-for-grades disorder.

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Copyright 1992 Doug Robinson, with some small and rather insignificant help from his admiring student Bill Kaul