(Logosipan Z, Booledrine). 25 mg q.i.d. Measure carefully; take at exactly six-hour intervals.

Effects: fosters linear thinking by inhibiting chaos generators in the brain stem. Student will delight in the formalism of syllogistic reasoning; will seek out causal sequences in all process thinking; will dualize and hierarchize willingly and easily. Real-world situations, especially when inadequately theorized by the instructor, may cause some anxiety. Effective with symptoms related to casuistry, digression, personalism, and pseudostupidity.

Side effects: may in some cases foster critical thinking. Higher dosages may solve this problem, as critical thinking requires a certain confluence of logic and chaos in order to generate dangerous new ideas, and lineazolamide will in most cases block mental chaos. May be supplemented with obedioflavin bromide or pedagorine.

Contraindicated: when student shows inclination to divergent interpretation. Instructors should be aware that divergent interpretations too can be articulated syllogistically, and lineazolamide may enhance some students' ability to do so.

Typical abuse: philosophy and math students, who have been known to freebase it (dissolve it in ether) to purify its effect.

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Copyright 1992 Bill Kaul and Doug Robinson