Placidoflavin bromide

(Calm-Ez). 25 mg q.i.d.

Effects: pacifies hostile students by blocking communication between the emotion-processing amygdala and the cortical motor circuitry controlling verbal and paraverbal articulation. Functions neurologically like a frontal lobotomy or a bilateral amygdalectomy--but more humanely, of course, because less permanently. Effective in treating anger in students, especially when combined with critical thinking, divergent interpretation, indifference, or parody.

Side effects: since the drug affects both the amygdala and the frontal lobes, it may diminish the student's ability to read social signals and their meaning for behavior (e.g. dominance hierarchies, threat postures) or his/her sense of social appropriateness (e.g. public/private confusions) and temporal segmentation (e.g. planning problems).

Contraindicated: in women's studies courses.

Typical abuse: the primary target area for placidoflavin bromide pushers is married students; there have been numerous cases of one spouse systematically administering placidoflavin bromide to the other over long periods of time.

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Copyright 1992 Doug Robinson and Bill Kaul