Effects: raises threshold to class participation by enhancing speech blockers. Student will speak when called upon, but will experience a decreased eagerness to answer the instructor's questions, and will have to hunt laboriously for words. Effective with verbiage disorders, not only talkativeness, for which it was developed, but casuistry, critical thinking, digression, divergent interpretation, parody, and personalism as well.
Side effects: may inhibit interest in class material. Students on phenomumital may become indifferent to learning and gaze languidly out the window.
Contraindicated: when student's parent is a major donor, high-ranking university administrator, state legislator, or other prominent person. The verbosity of such a student is likely to dovetail with the university's philosophy, and any decrease in his/her zeal for learning may have an adverse effect on planned giving, departmental support, higher education legislation, etc.
Typical abuse: contraband phenomumital is characteristically abused by compulsive talkers who fear professorial reprisal for interruption. Faculty members have been known to slip tabs of phenomumital into colleagues' water before faculty meetings and colloquia.
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