Symptoms and signs: common in classes held immediately before or during breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but is often found active even in classes held during nontraditional eating times. Frequently accompanied by disruptive noises such as can-popping, bag-rustling, and eructation.
Etiology: oral fixation due to early breast-deprivation, combined with inadequate pedagogical regimentation during formative years. Inability to subordinate body to mind and consequent lack of mental discipline.
Treatment: barfoline sulfate (Nauseax).
Prognosis: excellent, within prescribed dosages.
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Copyright 1992 Bill Kaul and Doug Robinson